Sunday, 2 September 2012

Holiday fuckery and hobnobs.

So.. That's it.. It's over... Another six weeks of bickering, fighting and claiming 'I'm bored' whilst surrounded by more electrical gadgets than Currys.

It wasn't too bad this year really.. I only contemplated suicide twice, which is three less times than last year.
We also had four sunny days.. This made a nice change from hearing "oh my godd I wanna play out" to "mumm it's tooo hot I wanna stay in"
It's always nice to vary the whinging.

My food shopping bill tripled, this could possibly be down to my kids dragging any feral skin headed toddler off the estate in for ice lollies, crisps and drinks, 27 times a day.. Once the other kids get wind of this, there is a never ending line of hungry looking faces at your door.. "ere Levi, that woman at 89 has Fab lollies, your mam only has them iceland ice pops.. Fuck that, let's get round there"
Or something along those lines.

I have also spent the cost of a small family car on school uniforms and new pencils and bags and shoes and pumps and haircuts and lunch boxes.. But it's all worth it because in nine hours from now, small child will start full time school ... For the first time in as long as I can remember, I will be alone... Completely alone .. ALL DAY..
It's kind of life changing.. What will I do?
Maybe I'll become really domesticated and clean 5 years of dirt from my house... Maybe I'll sort out the garden and keep my car lovely and clean.. I could even go to the gym and get in training for Rio..
In reality though, I'll probably eat an entire pack of chocolate hobnobs whilst watching cash in the attic and enjoy the very much deserved SILENCE.

Unless I get pregnant again....


1 comment:

  1. I wish I was a kid again, all that joy of a 6 week long holiday from school which seemed to last for ever. No cares in the world, having parents make all my decisions.

    I miss that stuff.