Monday, 24 December 2012

That's it!

So... It started In about September..

That's right... Fucking CHRISTMAS

Along the aisles in Spazda one side deckchairs and picnic sets.. The other side advent calendars and fucking matchmakers .. Then comes the adverts on TV and the shouts of I want that! And that! And that! Ooo look mummy an advert for Flash.. You can have that.
Then there are the 'big store' adverts.. Usually some middle class bollocks about a Christmas jumper wearing family singing carols as the snow falls gently all around.... No sign of three kids smashing each others faces in with a Wii remote whilst the dad is pissed on Stella and the mum sits crying in the kitchen.

Then the shopping starts... Usually out of bill money because as usual you never quite got round to saving up that 3K needed to keep every ungrateful twat happy... You head off to a shopping centre with a list that is 8 sides of A4 .. You barge your way through fat aisle hoggers and feral toddlers ... 'Accidently' elbowing 5 old people and a guide dog in the face... Red hot and dying for a piss you head back to the car.. Where is the car? You forgot to make a note of which carpark... You sit down and have a little cry.

Then the wrapping starts... Usually late at night when you're half pissed.. 3 kids get up for 'a drink' .. Forcing you to hurridly attempt to hide a baby Annabell and a bike under the dog.

As I type this it's time to play Santa... I've done it again... Made it to Christmas Eve! Nobody died.. Nobody starved.. Everybody has got what they wanted..
As much as I moan.. This bit is the best..

Merry Christmas everyone... Hang in there.. We can start all this again in 9 more paydays ;-)

Love Twinks x

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