National Fucking Tyres.

Just a teeny rant today... Well not really a rant... A warning.. Quite long actually... Try not to nod off..

Yesterday I decided to check my tyres... Even to the untrained eye of a woman I could see they were illegal about 3 months ago... I quickly rang a few places... National tyres on Bull green coming up cheapest...

I kicked the crisp packets and school letters.. A colouring book , a dolls head.. Half a unicorn and a shoe under the seat.. Sprayed febreeze in wild abandon and slid down the road to town...

A kind man took my keys.. Told me it would be an hour and sent me off in to town...

1 hour and 15 pointless waiting around purchases later I returned...

Him..."Right madam... I've done your tyres ... But..."

Me.. *heart stops beating*..."but??"

Him..*sharp intake of breath through teeth*

me..."but whatt????"

Him... "well .. Your back brakes are binding, and are heavily corroded.. And well it's a big job love.."

At this point, he may aswel have said the entire sentance in Russian.. I give him a gormless vacant look and mumble "how much?"

Him.. "talking bout 380 love... And sooner rather than later really if your taking kids in the car" *waggles dirty finger under Ellies nose*

me.... *falls to floor... Lies still a minute...*..."three... Hundred... And eighty pounds???"

Him.. *fake sad face*..."yeah love... Soz"

Me.."right erm yeah erm.. I'll have to go sell a kidney.. I'll get back to you"

*flees garage clutching chest*

I arrived home and decided to ring the nice lad at Seaman and Davidson .. Who had done my MOT a few months ago.... He told me to take it to him today.

I arrived at 9am and he took my car, he said give us an hour , I'll have a look how bad it is ..

An hour later I returned.. Feeling a bit sick... Maybe with worry.. Or maybe because of the sausage and egg Mc muffin I'd accidently eaten whilst waiting ...

Me..."so???"

Him..*no sharp intake of breath*
"well .. It was sticking a bit.. So was a bit rusty .. I've taken it off cleaned it up.. Greased it, put it back on.. Loads of life left in it... Just give us a tenner love"

Me.. *pounces on man.. Licks his face...*


Sooo.. Be warned... Do not EVER use National Tyres.

I'm going back down there this aft to call him a wanker and punch him in the cock.

The end.

A fucking minibus!!!

I watched BBC news last night ... (this doesn't happen often) it disgusted me enough to write about it though...


An estate in Bradford now has a mini bus to drive round to individual houses in a morning to pick the kids up for school....
Simply because the lazy ... Non working... Dressing gown wearing... Boggle eyed, fucktarded parents cannot be arsed to do the School run ....

What the actual fuck? ...


How about fining them?...
Or taking away their 87 inch plasmas so they can't watch Jezza?...
Or take a tenner off their dole for every day little McKenzie misses at school because his fat arsed mother was still in bed...
Or worse still take away their weed and staffy dog ...


All these would force the lazy twats outside..

It showed the children being picked up from various shit ridden houses... All the doors answered by overweight, grubby dressing gown, fag smoking trolls...


An actual quote from one of the pyjama clad yodas ...

"I as 5 kids init... It's propa ard getting em all up an stuff.. Vey as bout free days a week off skool"

I'll tell you what sweetcheeks.... Try GETTING UP A BIT FUCKING EARLIER!!..

these scummy inbreds should be punished... Not fucking rewarded with a free bus service, so that they don't even have to get dressed!!

This is EXACTLY what is wrong with this country..

If you can't do the basic duties as a parent...

Stop popping bloody kids out...



THE END.


#TwinksforPM