Monday, 3 October 2011


It seems fitting that the first rant I post is about one of the places that pisses me off to the point of self harming.


I'm not sure if this place is the same nationwide .... But here in Halifax it is like a cross between a massive shit Lidl and the Job Centre ... 

On Fridays (giro day)... it is filled with groups of muffin topped, flip flop wearing women who look like they have brushed their hair with a tofffee apple.... They are fighting over knocked down chips and there is always a faint whiff of piss and lard in the air.

Anyway yesterday I decided to call in to my local friendly store and purchase some petrol and cigarettes .... this didn't go to plan ... 

I have written this email to Morrisons to voice my disgust.

Dear who ever it may concern.

I have shopped at your Halifax branch of Morrisons for over 20 years.
Other than large swarms of the great unwashed on giro day, I've never really had a problem with it.

Until now.

Recently several staff were apparently sacked for not ID'ing underage smokers. Good I say, yes sack them.
This however, seems to have turned the rest of the staff in to raging maniacs.

So yes I am aware people need to be asked for ID if they look under 25, but also basic common sense surely needs to be applied somewhere... Doesn't it?

For example...
I am 34 years old.
I pull up at the petrol station, I put £60 of petrol in my car .. I then enter the kiosk carrying a screeching child under 1 arm.
I pick up bread, milk a womans own and head to the till.
I am wearing yesterdays makeup, I have hair mildly resembling Kenn Dodd on a windy day and i'm wearing a jumper with crayon on one arm and a bit of child snot on the other.

I say "number 4 please, this milk and 20 Lambert and Butler"

Sandra behind the glass ..(I am now fully aware as to why they keep her behind glass) ... Says gruffly.."ID" ..

Me wondering if i'd heard her right, was she coughing? Did she say i need a pee? ... Nope .. Her face is as straight as the bottom of my IKEA frying pan.

"ID"... She barks again.

Now personally i think Sandra needs the love of a good man.. Or maybe a shot of gin... Perhaps she'd had a bad day.. I'm not sure.

Me, fairly shocked at a demand for ID that i didnt have to show EIGHTEEN years ago says .."erm sorry but i'm 34!"

At some point you'd think sandras common sense would have kicked in... Do 17 year olds have tits like socks on a washing line?... A toddler? A car? Read womans own? ( only for the recipes honest) .. Have bags under their eyes the same size as Sandra's?

No they don't.

Sandra barked that she ID'd EVERYONE..
Really Sandra? Everyone? Even Mavis who comes in with a zimmer and cataracts?... No i don't think you do, do you?

At this point I left, only paying for my petrol (I'm not a chav)

My point here is, Morrisons is now losing my £6.50 a day ... I may also boycot bread and milk yet, I haven't decided.
But let me tell you thats alot of money a month.

A small training course on common sense might help Sandras attitude.
Do you do common sense when demanding ID courses?

If not, then you should.

To be honest though I probably wouldnt involve Sandra.

She could be deployed to the fish counter. She'd fit in well there.

Rachel Keys.

I searched for Morrisons customer services Email address .... of course they don't have one ... 

so using the power of Google and Twitter, I have sent it straight to the top.. 

I shall post the reply .... If i get one..... 

I'm not holding my breath.