Monday, 3 October 2011



I have 4 children .... yes 4 ... and yes we had a TV ... i'm just a bit easy before you make the joke.

School wind the absolute tits off me ... 

From snooty faced PTA members who have nothing better to do in their life apart from knit yogurt and promote organic lunches .... to the we need £3 for this ... £2 for that... school dinners have gone up ... infact why don't you just direct your entire wage to us ... make is simpler... 

Then there are the kids themselves ... most of them with names only the unemployed can spell.... and the horrendous gaggle of school run mums .... normally in two groups .... the fake Ugg boots and back tits group .... and the stillettos and far too much makeup for the school run group...

I stand in neither ... I'd rather spend 20 minutes with Jedward than make a conversation about educational after school activities..... and which dancing school little Chyna Mercedes is going to this weekend.

Anyway, now you understand how much this place pisses me off .... here is a letter i wrote and sent to school after finding out one of my twins had beeen excluded from PE.

Dear sir/madam
On learning that Megan has been excluded from PE since xmas, I was shocked and upset and wondered if she had developed some rare PE related asthma that I wasn't aware of ..

 Or maybe developed a life threatening allergy to bean bags and skipping ropes, that I would immediately have to run out and buy an epi-pen for.. 
As you can imagine I was extremely shocked to find this was not the case and it was much worse than I had expected......
She has the wrong coloured tshirt!! ......
I would like to apologise sincerely for this and can fully understand how doing PE in a blue tshirt, instead of a green one, will have greatly hindered Megans ability to swing on the monkey bars. 


I shall not be purchasing Megan another one, due to the fact your school likes to suck every penny out of parents and only sells the tshirt as part of a whole PE kit at a cost of £17.. 

Please do not inform me Megan does not have correct shorts or I may combust.
I have tried to send her with a better tshirt today that is more fitting with school policy, unfortunately the only one i could find is a Hello Kitty one with a bit of jam on the sleeve...

sorry about this.

Regards Rachel Keys


  1. As much as I appreciate your annoyance, perhaps you need to go back to school in order to learn how to spell yourself first, before you criticize the school...

    1. Why don't you jog the fuck on Laura? It's not a fucking English exam.. It's MY blog... Anything else to say? You trolling little wank stick.